I'll Wear Purple...

Most of us have heard the “When I Am Old” poem – or at least snippets of it – and understand it to be an anthem for breaking out of routine expectations and having fun. Entire groups of Red Hat Societies have formed to celebrate the idea. I think there's more to it than that.

I see it as an acknowledgment of our own true self. So many of us spend our lives toeing the line, doing what we think is expected of us or is “proper”. We're supposed to be a civilized society, so there should be rules about the way we behave, speak, carry ourselves, etc. While I've always considered myself to be a free-thinking, no boundaries kind of girl, I recognize that I've also been really good at blending in with my surroundings and doing what's expected of me.

That could be perceived as boring or conforming to avoid conflict. I don't think that's the case for me. I've always thought that keeping a low profile allowed me to just quietly be myself and do what I want without drawing attention that would spur questions. I've always been comfortable with that approach.  I'm realizing lately that maybe I've been holding myself back and missing out on some of the fun!

Recently, I was at a gathering , sitting with a group of mothers and grandmothers while our kids were having fun. I told them about an experience a few days prior. My girls and I were in a parking lot and I noticed a large crowd. They were gathered for a movie premier at the Indian theater. I dragged my kids over and crashed the party. Obviously, I didn't understand the language of the chants being shouted but I certainly know how to recognize a joyful celebration, so I joined in with cheers. When fireworks went off, I shot my fist in the air and yelled “Whooo!” with the crowd. This prompted my 11 year old to roll her eyes and scold me with a “Mooooom!” I didn't care. It was fun.

After telling that story, sitting with the ladies, watching kids have fun being kids, I jumped up to do a goofy dance with them. I realized in that moment that I don't need a Red Hat or a Purple Boa, because there are definitely some things coming unleashed on their own.

The simple act of shouting “Whooo!” in a group of strangers was sort of an unveiling. My mature self is kicking off her leash and having fun and if my kids are embarrassed by it, that's just a bonus. As I'm typing this, I'm reminded of one of the most important lessons my mother ever taught me: Sometimes, it's better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission. Right on, Mom!

I don't think I'll be giving up the mini-van for a Harley and I doubt I'll be skinny-dipping in the park fountain. Frankly, I've always been pretty candid, so anyone who has known me for awhile may not even notice, but I give myself permission to yell “Whooo!” on a whim and to bust out a boisterous laugh whenever I want. If I ever learn how, I might do the Funky Chicken in a crowded room.

I like purple. I wear it often. But when I am Old(er), I will just do and say whatever the heck I want and make no apologies. I may even crash your party. I'll beg forgiveness later.