2020 has been a difficult year for most people I know. I think I should be awarded the Sad Sack trophy for the winner of the worst of it.
Early April – Schools closed. Students were switched to home-schooling. Our city – like so many others – was under quarantine recommendations. We were, fortunately, stocked with toilet paper and hand sanitizer so we missed a great deal of the frenzy.
Mid April – I was furloughed from my job, so I was home to supervise the schooling process. Meanwhile, my husband was not feeling well. We assumed this was indicative of the impending kidney failure and he was weaker by the day. Because of the pandemic, we couldn't actually go see the doctor and had to rely on video chats and a whole lot of guessing.
Early May, we continued to home-school, watching Covid take over the world while the mania took over the US. My husband was not improving so the decision was made to take him to the emergency room. He walked in to the hospital – by himself because no accompaniment was allowed – and was admitted.
Because of the new pandemic situation, there was little to no outside communication and no way to visit outside of video chats. This went on for months. Hospitals, therapy centers, and more hospitals. Over this time, he lost his ability to walk and be independent. I can only imagine how lost and alone he felt through it all.
Meanwhile, at home, kids went into the summer knowing that terrible things were happening out on the streets to people who looked like their friends at the hands of people they were supposed to trust. They were isolated and angry about it. Who could blame them?
During this time, we were met with a dangerous gas leak in our kitchen, various mechanical malfunctions with lawn mower, cars, and miscellaneous machinery. Then my brother died alone in a hospital with no one by his side. I cried Uncle and just didn't think I could take any more of the dark clouds.
Then I took a step back and remembered to look for the silver lining. ALL of the silver linings were there through it all.
When the kids were seeing civil unrest, they were moved to stand up and speak out. I marched with them and watched them hold their signs high, lead the group in their shouts, and saw that their generation is powerful and will take control to right so many wrongs before them. As their mother, I couldn't have been more proud.
Friends swarmed around us with offers of assistance so I knew that our family was loved and protected and would be OK. Even strangers (repairmen) who came to our door were kind and swift in their help.
While processing the loss of my brother without my husband to hold me up, loved ones from near and far swept in to do the job. The rest of my siblings came from all over the country to hug and reminisce and console. Then, in the way that they do, my brothers jumped in to fix the broken things that needed attention. When they returned home, they continue to look after me and make sure I'm okay.
People – some known and some anonymous - have jumped in to keep us nourished, to keep us safe, and to ensure that we feel loved through all of the hurdles thrown our way. They are the reminders that we need in difficult times that Good Is The Rule. It will always prevail.
I won't be sad to see 2020 go. It's been hard on everyone. Friends have been divided politically, economically, and philosophically. But through it all, light shines through. Truth stands strong and goodness always wins.
Sure, I see the clouds. I withstand the clouds. But perhaps now, more than ever, the silver linings shine bright to guide my way. I hope the same for all of you.
