Going Into Business...

 

 I told my kids I’m thinking about starting my own business. They asked what kind – what would I sell? I told them I was thinking of a business they really needed to research and learn and that I was going to call it NunYa, MindYown, and StayOuttaMy. That’s the business I want them to inherit. They rolled their eyes as expected but I’m not joking!

I’ve done my best to expose my own kids to the world. We talk about what we see on the news, we talk about their opinions on everything and I’ve encouraged kindness in whatever they do. Since they were born, they’ve been a part of our adult world with a wide variety of people, lifestyles, faiths, and personal and political opinions. I think that is the best way to encourage them to be thinking, loving, well-rounded humans.

In doing this, I’ve also had to teach them that their friends may not have had the advantage of that kind of personal freedom. Not all suburban parents are quite so open hearted and don’t always share the ugly parts with their kids so when in the company of others, it’s best to just leave their ears and hearts open while keeping their mouths shut. That worked out pretty well when they were younger. The teen years are a different story.

Giving anyone – but especially kids – access to cell phones and internet gives them new freedom to explore and express themselves. So they do. If we use any kind of social media, we see it every day. I remind my kids that words don’t go away. Anything said – either out loud or on the internet – lasts forever, Rumors and gossip don’t just go away because you may have changed your opinion of the person about whom you spoke.

When I listen to teenagers talk, I’m mortified by the things I hear. I heard So and So is a rapist, that 18 year old guy is a pedophile because he has a 17 year old girlfriend, I’m pretty sure that dude who left town is in a psych ward, and so on. These are the news reports being broadcast and repeated across the internet, in chat rooms and text messages with no regard for the repercussions of those words. In their young minds, they think they’re doing the right thing when they make these statements – that they’re saving potential victims. They argue that to not say these things is “protecting the bad guy, victim blaming, ignoring what’s happening” or whatever the current babble is.

This is a good time for me to pull out the old advice they always get: there are 3 sides to every story and the truth always lies in the middle. Reporters verify facts and confirm sources before a story is aired. Then I pull out the old Rotary Club statement they’ve heard a thousand times: Is It True? Is It Fair To All Concerned? Will It Build Goodwill? Will It Be Beneficial To All Concerned? If the answer to any of those questions, is No, then keep your mouth (or keyboard) shut and verify your facts before you say anything.

My own kids have been hurt by baseless vicious gossip and friendships have suffered. To this, I say that a true friend would talk TO you, not ABOUT you and when a person is talking about someone else to you, you can be sure they’re talking about you to someone else. It’s a good rule of thumb. Of course, I recognize that saying these things to teens may not be received right away but I trust that they’ll get it sooner or later.

Meanwhile, I’ll keep building and minding my own business and leave the door open for my kids to join me in the offices of NunYa, MindYown, and StayOuttaMy. We’re open 24/7 and are always hiring.

Recharging The Batteries...

 

My brother-in-law called me one day. I was startled and a little frightened by his name on caller ID because he has never called me before. Did something happen to my sister!?! Is everyone OK? Thankfully, everything was fine. He just had a kooky idea that all of the Alberts should go to Baltimore for a baseball game.

After he called me, he proceeded to call each and every one of my siblings. We all reacted the same way – is everyone OK? You have never called us! Way to scare the crap out of us. They live in St. Louis. The rest of us are scattered across the country. Furthermore, none of us really care about sports. We should drop everything and go to Maryland for a game?

Then the phone call chain started – each of us calling another to talk about that crazy call and his hare-brained idea. The more we talked, the more we understood that maybe it wasn’t so crazy. I don’t think any of us was really excited about the actual game, but it’s been a rough few years. Maybe we should recharge the familial battery.

We’ve ALL been challenged. I became a widow, of course, but there have been life changes and battles for most of us. Our brother in Maryland – the guy we’d be descending upon – has had THREE brain surgeries in the last couple of years and very recently had a mild stroke. We’ve all had heavy loads to bear. Why not gather for some fun?

Sadly, we couldn’t all squeeze this trip into our schedules, but we were able to represent Denver, St. Louis, and Atlanta in the city we once called home. My nephew organized tickets for the St. Louis Cardinals v/s Baltimore Orioles game. Plane tickets were booked. I was travelling on my own for the first time in a very long time, so I thought I’d try something new.

I boarded a midnight train from Georgia – that was something new! Other than quick little commuter trips, I’d never travelled by train before. It was cheaper than a plane and less stressful than making the drive. I loved every second of it. The other passengers were friendly and it was a very communal atmosphere. I walked around, went to the dining car for coffee, chatted, and napped. When I arrived in Baltimore, I was greeted by my best friend from 5^th grade, We dined and chatted until she had to leave then my spare brother – family friend from our Baltimore days – picked me up to take me to my brother’s house.

From there, it was hugging, talking, and just general family bonding. We toured the old haunts, and told the old remember-when stories and talked about the people we knew back then and reviewed the Where Are They Now information that we had. My brother’s house is old (built in 1800) and the grounds are expansive, so exploring it was delightful. The bigger delight was just being able to see one another to confirm that we’re all still standing and thriving.

So I’m happy for that startling phone call. I’m thankful that my kids urged me to go and assured me that my home would still be standing when I got home (it is!) and I’m glad for all of the quality time spent with siblings I rarely see. A bit of time with my friend was a nice bonus. I’m grateful for the new experience with the train and I’m going to do it again at the next opportunity.

I came home feeling refreshed and ready to forge ahead with whatever comes next. My familial battery has been charged. That means MY battery has been boosted, too. Onward!

 

In The Zone...

 

With the writers’ strike happening, my TV is loaded with either re-runs or reality television. My tolerance for reality is pretty limited out in the real world. I don’t need it on my TV so I’ve turned to the stockpile of The Twilight Zone that sits on my DVR. I’ve always been a fan and it never gets old.

As I watch, I can’t help but think that these shows from the late 50s and early 60s were eerily prophetic. Was Rod Serling some sort of modern-day Nostradamus? The themes of the shows are very progressive. Of course, they were scripted towards imagination about the future and commentary about the mindset of the times.

Here, in 2023, we should be evolved and trusting and care about one another without prejudice but instead, people seem to be suspicious of others and fearful about the world as a whole. I see it every time I leave the house. It seems that people have forgotten the basic manners and decency towards their fellow human beings.

Turn on the news and you’ll see that once quiet suburban neighborhoods are riddled with random gunfire. Clowns are in government offices, books that have been cherished for generations are being banned because some parents are afraid that their children’s minds may be accidentally opened. The inmates are running the asylum!

I think that if I pitched these ideas to Mr. Serling, I’d be told that they were too far-fetched and too unbelievable for sci-fi and people wouldn’t be able to accept it as the future. Yet here we are. Real life 2023.

I’m not discouraged. The “reality” that has been presented to us is not real. When I look beyond the awful headlines, I see good people doing amazing things. People run into danger and rescue others. People reach out helping hands to feed, to protect, and to comfort their fellow humans more than we know. THAT is my reality. And really, looking back at those old black and white Twilight Zone episodes, didn’t Rod Serling always have a message about being better, doing better, and disregarding the awful?

I don’t know if he was a fortune teller or just amazingly creative, but I’m grateful to have those old shows as a reminder of where we were, where we hoped to be, and what’s possible if we veer too far off the path. My destination is a loving, kind world and I plan to keep walking until I get there. I’m in the zone.