I was never a great student. I mean, I was smart, I understood the lessons and was bright enough that I was in the talented and gifted classes. I was just bored enough with it all that I didn’t actually try very hard. Grades weren’t very important to me as long as I kept moving forward. That’s what I’ve done all my life. One foot in front of the other, just keep moving.
That’s always worked for me. By just taking a step, I’ve had quite a journey, doing things, having adventures, and meeting people one could have never planned. Of course, there have been hurdles along the way but I’ve been able to leap them or reroute my travel around them. Even the obstacles have added to the story.
In the last few years, however, those speedbumps have become big, nasty monsters. With teeth! I still keep moving, but the battle rages on and it’s exhausting. Those who know me and love me have cheered me on from the sidelines. They’ve seen the struggle and ask how I keep going. I don’t have an answer.
Life requires me to keep forging ahead when I’d really just prefer to hide in a corner and weep. But that obviously won’t get me anywhere. I wake each day not knowing what the challenges will be but, since it’s a whole new day, I put my feet on the floor and start again.
In addition to parental stressors, car troubles, and regular daily dramas, I’ve been desperately seeking gainful employment for about two years. I have skills and experience in many areas. When I send my resume, it gets attention. I’ve had MANY interviews and been in the final running more times than I can count. Nothing happens after that. I’m still on the search.
My patience left the building a long time ago. My optimistic outlook has taken a beating. Pollyanna has black eyes and chipped teeth. My inner warrior went out for a smoke break but hasn’t returned yet. Fortunately, my sense of humor refuses to quit so I think we’re gonna get through this thing with passing grades, and stories to tell.
Still, I’d like a large break and a small nap.
