I Hear You Knocking...

 …But You Can’t Come In.

 

OK, First things first: I’m not a hermit. I’m not anti-social. I’m very friendly and often go out of my way to greet strangers, to help anyone who needs it, and love my fellow human beings. If I’ve ever said to you “come by any time” I mean it. That said, I don’t like strangers in my space.

Growing up, countless teens walked into our house at all hours of day or not. That never bothered me, They were invited at some point by someone who lived there. No problem. My kids bring in tons of people all the time. That’s cool. I’ll even feed most of them. They’re guests.

When we bought our house in a very active neighborhood, we met many friends and neighbors. As a general rule, we talk to one another when we’re outside and see each other. We don’t go into each others’ homes. I like it that way. I think they do, too.

Over the years, the doorbell rings and there’s a sales person, a church person, or a political campaigner on the other side. I’ve always answered and politely send them away. When my kids’ friends are selling cookie dough or something, I’m a customer. That’s the society I grew up with.

I don’t know if it’s age, widowhood, or just being cranky but, at some point, I realized I’m not obligated to answer the door for anyone. It’s MY door, on MY property and I didn’t invite you. I don’t know you. I don’t have respond to you. I don’t care if you saw my car and know I’m home. You’ve disturbed my peace, upset my dogs, and interrupted whatever I was (or was not) doing

The other day, my doorbell rang. My dogs barked. But I was sort of expecting a delivery so I decided to answer the door. I opened the door to a stranger who was holding his hand out for a shake. And he was asking about my kid. I put the pieces together and realized this guy was my kid’s boss at the job they’ve had for about a month. My kid asked for the day off a week ago, but this dude thought they no-showed and was expressing undue concern over their health.

I knew that this dude and his wife were new owners of a new franchise. My kid is a hard worker and has come home with stories about how intrusive they both are. They make inappropriate comments about their health (like stating “maybe you have a UTI” when they’ve gone to the bathroom for a second time). I brushed the guy off with an “I just walked in the door myself” – which was true – and said I’d tell them to call him. I shut the door and locked it. This dude sat in his car in front of my house for 40 minutes.

My (now grown) kids are self confident and strong. I don’t fight their battles. The reason my kid asked for the day off was to meet with a new employer. They intended to put in their 2 week notice that day. This guy’s behavior tossed that courtesy out the window.

That’s an extreme example of the reason I don’t open my door, but I wonder – is this what the internet has done to young people? If everything is openly announced by strangers - to strangers, have we lost the social buffer that I was raised with? I grew up understanding that we don’t talk politics, finance, personal issues, etc. with random folks that cross our paths. That’s still how I live.

Now, get off my lawn!