From Boxes To Shelves...

Psychologists talk about “compartmentalizing” emotions or thoughts as a way of dealing with people or activities in their lives.

I've always been pretty good at that. It's not about denial. It's more about putting things away so there's defined space for everything – and everyone – in my life. I like things – and people – where they belong so people and situations have their own boxes.

Probably, that was always easy when I was young because I didn't stay in one place very long. The older and more settled, I get, I find my boxes have opened and spilled all over the place. My people and situations are interacting! It's a little unsettling when I find that a person I've known for years – who has long had their own box – has moved into the box of someone else from a different time and place in my life!

I think I'm starting to understand that I never actually had boxes. I probably have shelves. While there are definitely clear and separate places for every person and every experience in my life, perhaps it's totally okay – maybe even beneficial – to allow those spaces to interact with one another. They've probably been interacting all along and I just haven't been paying attention.

With many things in my life, I rely on the library to be my reference point. So maybe instead of seeing all of these people and experiences in boxes, they need to be on shelves – catalogued, referenced, and sorted by subject or title. Wouldn't that make it easier to face new questions or challenges as they arrive? So that's going to be my approach moving forward with each new situation. I'll have a person, a place, or an experience to give me the data I need to handle something similar.

That's the idea, anyway. If I'm being honest with myself, I'll likely reach for the favorite stories and characters, leave them sitting on the table in the middle of the room, and forget to look on the shelves I've compiled and organized. But at least I'll have a better idea about where to look.

And really, won't my life be better, easier – or at the very least, more entertaining – to allow all of the parts of me to work (and play) together? I often tell my kids that I know a little about a lot of things. I also know a lot of people who know a little about a lot of other things. Together, we can rule the world! At the very least, we can make a fun party.