Saturday, December 28, 2013

Relax, Stop Thinking, Let Yourself Float...

I spent this cold, dreary and wet afternoon splashing around with my children in the indoor pool at the YMCA.  It’s not a regular place, but we had a free weeklong trial pass, so why not?  Splashing around in a pool is always a good thing.  Splashing around in a heated pool in December borders on great.

While the eight year old swam laps and made friends with the closest nine year old, I stayed in the more shallow end helping the five year old remember how to paddle and kick.  Next to us, another mother was trying to teach her youngster how to float on her back.

I heard her say “You have to stop thinking and just let it happen!” which led us grownups to chatting about what great advice that is for Life In General. 

We put so much emphasis on thought.  And that’s not a bad thing.  We want our children to be Thoughtful.  I try to teach them to think before they speak.  To think before they act.  To think about the consequences of their actions:  If I do X, then Y will probably happen.  I want them to think their way through problems and think about what is Real and what Matters.

While thinking is good, over-thinking is not something I want them to do at all.  Over-thinking leads to Worry.  It leads to Self-Doubt.  It leads to Fear.  And it leads to ending all progress.  One of my favorite quotes about worry (which can be applied to over-thinking) is: “Worry is like a rocking chair.  It gives you something to do, but you don’t get anywhere.

When I think about the biggest leaps forward in my life…the greatest successes and the nicest surprises...they came as a result of just being in the moment.  That means there was no thought about whether I knew what I was doing, whether I was doing it right, whether anyone was watching, or what the result might be.  I just Did it.  Whatever IT was.  And IT worked out.

Every job I ever started, I had to walk in with my head up and eyes open and act like I knew what I was doing.  Suddenly, I realized I DID know what I was doing.   Whether I was juggling a project, teaching a class, cracking the mic to interview someone I never heard of, or figuring out how to feed my own babies, there was no point in thinking about it.  I just DID it.

When people ask my mother how she managed to raise nine decent human beings while working and living her life, she usually gives the same answer: “I don’t know, I just DID it.”

When you turn on the news and see a hero being interviewed after going into a fire to save someone, or jumping into a runaway car to stop it, don’t they always say something like “I didn’t really think about it, I just did it.” to the reporter?

As we head into the new year, I’m going to work a bit harder at reminding my kids – and remembering for myself – to just relax, stop thinking too much, and let yourself float.

 

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