In The Zone...

 

With the writers’ strike happening, my TV is loaded with either re-runs or reality television. My tolerance for reality is pretty limited out in the real world. I don’t need it on my TV so I’ve turned to the stockpile of The Twilight Zone that sits on my DVR. I’ve always been a fan and it never gets old.

As I watch, I can’t help but think that these shows from the late 50s and early 60s were eerily prophetic. Was Rod Serling some sort of modern-day Nostradamus? The themes of the shows are very progressive. Of course, they were scripted towards imagination about the future and commentary about the mindset of the times.

Here, in 2023, we should be evolved and trusting and care about one another without prejudice but instead, people seem to be suspicious of others and fearful about the world as a whole. I see it every time I leave the house. It seems that people have forgotten the basic manners and decency towards their fellow human beings.

Turn on the news and you’ll see that once quiet suburban neighborhoods are riddled with random gunfire. Clowns are in government offices, books that have been cherished for generations are being banned because some parents are afraid that their children’s minds may be accidentally opened. The inmates are running the asylum!

I think that if I pitched these ideas to Mr. Serling, I’d be told that they were too far-fetched and too unbelievable for sci-fi and people wouldn’t be able to accept it as the future. Yet here we are. Real life 2023.

I’m not discouraged. The “reality” that has been presented to us is not real. When I look beyond the awful headlines, I see good people doing amazing things. People run into danger and rescue others. People reach out helping hands to feed, to protect, and to comfort their fellow humans more than we know. THAT is my reality. And really, looking back at those old black and white Twilight Zone episodes, didn’t Rod Serling always have a message about being better, doing better, and disregarding the awful?

I don’t know if he was a fortune teller or just amazingly creative, but I’m grateful to have those old shows as a reminder of where we were, where we hoped to be, and what’s possible if we veer too far off the path. My destination is a loving, kind world and I plan to keep walking until I get there. I’m in the zone.

Boats, Trains, Automobiles...

 

I realize I’ve spent the last 18 or so years shielding myself from a lot of the world. Having children gave me a buffer that I often used and appreciated. My husband’s health issues early in our marriage warranted use of that shield. The pandemic and his frequent and long hospitalizations strengthened the absolute need for that barrier.

My kids are teenagers now and don’t need – or WANT – me to protect them anymore. My husband and partner in potential adventure is no longer with us. It’s just me on the couch with two persnickety dogs. I’m mostly OK with that. I don’t mind being alone to putter around the house with no expectations on my shoulders.

Lately, I’ve been pushing myself to get up off of the couch and go back out into the world a little. Baby steps – I’m going to places filled with familiar faces and warm hugs. That’s pretty easy. But then came invitations to step further outside my comfort zone and I’ve been nudging myself away from the No Thank You zone into the Yes, Sure, Why Not territory

I was invited to an event in town that I knew I’d enjoy but didn’t know the person who invited me very well. When thinking about getting there, I was a little concerned about my struggle with driving at night. When someone’s in the passenger seat to help guide me, it’s not so bad but I was on my own. So, I took a deep breath, accepted convincing encouragement from the more experienced teens and downloaded Uber.I took my very first rideshare and was pleased! Ive obviously taken cabs and local trains and buses, but this was foreign territory,

On the way there, the driver was silent and efficient. On the way home, after a fantastic fun night out, that driver was friendly, chatty, and we had great conversation. It was during that ride that I made another outside-the-box decision, I’ve been invited to a sibling gathering at my brother’s house in Maryland and I think I’ve decided to take the train from Atlanta to Baltimore! Why not? The teens will be in school, don’t need me at home, why add the miles to my car and my psyche?

I’ve flown plenty – thanks to a heavy travel job – and used to enjoy it but since 9/11, it’s not fun anymore, I’m not worried about terrorists, but the safety protocols have sucked the joy out and the airline industry has cancelled the comfort so now I only fly when necessary.  I also never had any interest in cruises. The idea of being trapped in a fancy resort hotel on the ocean never appealed to me. But I’m reconsidering.

Many friends rave about the International Blues Cruise. Maybe that’s for me. Or perhaps a Mississippi Riverboat Cruise is the way to go. That seems like something I’d love. I’m considering planning a sisters (and mom) river cruise and looking into that. If I can get a handle on my sea sickness (I puke every time I’m on a sailboat), maybe that’s for me!

All I really know for certain is that I’m the only one who has any real say in what I do. My husband and I were a terrific team – figuring it out together.  I hold all the cards now and, for better or worse, can drive the bus, board the train, set sail, or just travel in my mind. What an adventure it will be!

If I get back up off this couch.

 

Who's Idea Was This...

I went to bed the other night with a long list of things running through my head – things that must be done, things that should be done, things that I might like to do one day, and maybe some frivolous fun things, too. As I was running through the list and considering my plan of attack, I couldn’t help but wonder – who put me in charge?

Probably, as a kid, I must have thought of how things could be when I grew up. Maybe they were even good ideas and perhaps if I ever do grow up, I’ll do them but I’m not there yet. Why is my to do list so long?!? Where is my supervisor? I don’t know what the hell I’m doing!

Then it dawns on me that I have teenagers. That means that, at some point, I had babies, then, actual children! I love them madly and am very proud of the humans they’ve become but HOW!?! If I’m just a kid with no idea what I’m doing, what sorcery led to this?

With this on my mind, I had a car full of 15-year-olds today and heard them talking about their pool plans for the day and I slipped into mom mode wondering if they’d have enough snacks and drinks. I wondered if they had enough sunscreen and whether everyone had a towel. They assured me that they had it handled, so I stopped making suggestions.

While biting my tongue, I remembered a conversation with my fully-in-control grandmother when she basically said she was just winging it. Then I remembered my mother saying the same thing. I felt like my husband was in control of things, but in hindsight, he was winging it, too! Looking back at all of my mentors in life – all the people I looked to for guidance – I think we’re all the same. We’re little kids putting on grown up costumes, crossing our fingers before we jump in.

Understanding this should make every new situation easier, shouldn’t it? We’re all new kids figuring stuff out. Some of us learn how to not show it, but why? Moving forward, I will put my trust in those with honesty of a child. Those who say “I think” instead of “I know”. There’s plenty of room for “I believe” but I don’t need over-confidence. Frankly, I don’t think I’ve ever trusted that and my instincts have always steered me clear of it.

I don’t know why I was ever put in charge of anything but I suspect that is the universal question of the ages. Who thought that years suddenly meant that we know what the hell is going on and does any human being actually have it figured out? I doubt it. I don’t trust anyone who says they do. I think we’re all children playing at being mature.

I don’t wanna play that game anymore. I’m here for the real fun. Tag, you’re it!