In A Roundabout Kind Of Way...

If you really stand back and watch, it’s pretty easy to get a read on a complete stranger just by the little things they do.  If they hold a door, if they make eye contact with a smile, or if they yell at cashiers or cut in line, these are all clues about how a person generally behaves in life.  This is not some huge revelation.  I think we all form snap opinions as we go through our days. 

My children didn’t learn the word “jerk” from Sesame Street.  They learned it from the back seat of my car.  My opinions take shape every time I get behind the wheel.  They hear me say “Who do you think you are?!?” to drivers who so obviously deem themselves more important than traffic rules or right of way.  They hear me grumble when another driver is rude.  They pay attention to these things so I really hope that they also notice when I let people in front of me, when I wave thanks after a courtesy is extended and they see that I am a patient and mindful person – or at least that I always try to be.

I know, I know, we’re all taught that we’re not supposed to judge a book by its cover.  Honestly,  I don’t think I do.  I don’t make assumptions about people by their tattoos and piercings (or lack thereof), by their clothes, or anything regarding their appearance.  That’s no way to know what’s inside.  But as soon as those books start walking around and interacting with one another, you’d better believe I’m judging the pages inside.  Likewise, I don’t care what kind of car a person drives.  I absolutely care how they drive it and I think this simple act is a near-perfect gauge of a person’s core self.

In my family’s hometown, when you drive into the town square, you are met with a giant fountain in the middle of the street.  Drivers know that whether they want to go straight, turn left, turn right or go back, they have to go around the fountain.  This is not an unusual feature of a small town and you see them all over the world.  Some people call it a Roundabout.  Some call it a Traffic Circle. 

Perhaps because of their small town reputation, some people think of Roundabouts as old fashioned but they’re making a comeback all over America.  They’re popping up in my town, in neighboring towns, and in engineering plans for future locations.  The idea is really very simple:  keep people moving, with as little backup as possible.  When they put one at an intersection that I face daily, I was very pleased but, as it turns out, I was also naïve.  I overestimated the ease with which the other drivers would adapt to the change.

Whether you call it a Roundabout, a Traffic Circle, a Rotary, or even a Euro-Loop, roughly the same rules apply.  Approach the circle at low speed, yield to traffic already in the circle and keep moving.  Easy, right?  Maybe not.  I’ve come to realize that, just as a person’s small behaviors give clues to their core personality, the way they approach a Traffic Circle is a pretty good indicator about how they approach life as a whole.

There are those who stop completely.  And wait and wait and wait until someone either waves them ahead or there are no other cars in the circle.  There are those who hesitate and then push their way ahead when it’s not their turn.  There are those who slowly creep up with a death grip on the steering wheel, fear on their face and their eyes on the rearview mirror.  Of course, there are always those who never bother to slow or to pay attention to the other guy who had the right of way and have no awareness that their action caused another to have to put on the brakes and no clue about the ripple effects in the interrupted flow.  Then there are those who approach with confidence, believe that they’re making the right move, and trust that others will, too.

That last driver is the one I strive to be.  I try to approach with awareness of timing, with some instinct about what the other guy is about to do and with my eyes on the road ahead of me, not behind me.

That’s my plan for life in general.  I may not always know what’s on the other side of the circle, but I know that when it’s time to move, it’s best to keep my eyes on my surroundings, to proceed with equal parts confidence and caution, to trust that the other guys will do the right thing, and there’s no need to look in the rearview mirror.  What I'm trying to say, in a roundabout kind of way, is that I’m just enjoying the drive.